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Comments on Tuesday 25 January 2005:
Ho ho ho. The American tax bastards decided to hassle me about ancient taxes again, as they have done for essentially every year since I moved there, two years later each time. Since I've been not living there for over a year before this one, it might be the last time. Every previous time they've pulled up some stupid technicality with an incorrect premise and told me that we owe them a bunch of money. Each time, I've redone the papers, fixed their faulty premise, and added a few deductions that I'd been too lazy to bother with the first time as a punishment for bothering me, resulting, each time, in them owing me money.

So this time, rather than having me re-do a bunch of papers that would allow me to tell them that actually it's them who owes me money, they decided to audit. Upon completing their audit, they discovered that they owe me $300, and sent me a cheque. Will they never learn? Just leave me alone and keep what I give you, tax people! I'm not trying to lull you into a false sense of security so that I can commit massive fraud when you finally start trusting me, I'm just lazy and don't want to take time to write tiny details on your special blue and green paper. But hey, if you want to keep auditing and not making me do anything, and then realising that you owe me more money, that'd be cool too. Take it out on the other taxpayers who'll have to make up the difference. I'm sure you're paid by the hour, so all your wasted auditing effort is well worth it for you personally. [01:28]

M. Austin
HA! Stupid IRS bastards! Let 'em come! You got nothing to hide!

Dragonseye
I hate the IRS. Every year they come to me and say I owe this much $ for this much crap like roads and schools and the police stations well it's not like I use any of those things anyway (well okay I use roads but I wish I didn't have to.) Well maybe they should see that they usually end up oweing me more than I owe them so they should just let me be and go to their hell of a job every day. Besides, everyone knows we truly don't owe the government both ethically and literally. Taxes were supposed to end after the war but the greedy gov. wanted their cut and if you actually take the time and write the treasury asking how much you owe they send a balance of $0.00 so HA! Also, who wants to pay bastards like that anyway? They ignore their citizens for a year and then expect them to pay them for their shit!? Who do they think they are? I mean honestly what do they think of us? Do they truly belive we're that stupid?

RavenBlack
Who do they think they are? They're the mafia. You pay or they'll break your kneecaps (metaphorically). But if you do pay then you get 'protection'.

Dragonseye
HA! Protection my ass! All that so called protection is them leaving you alone next year. I rather go without my kneecaps.

RavenBlack
That's why I put protection in inverted commas. That's why it's called "a protection racket". They don't just break your kneecaps though, they take or destroy all your stuff, so if you don't pay tax (or protection money) you end up paying more than if you did pay. The only way out is to call the A-Team.

Dragonseye
Damn government!

RavenBlack
A TV show from the eighties.

Mrdillo
OK

Dragonseye
Ah the eighties. How I remember

VC
Yes, American government is inefficient and hilarious. Sad but true.

Mrdillo
On the subject of the mafia, if you wanted a part for a horror film you could get an underwater camera and go around in the water around New York, NY and see if you could find any dead mobsters. The water would probably be too polluted to see through though, which is partly the governments fault for not enforcing litter laws, but who the hell could keep tabs on some millions of people?

RavenBlack
A computer could, if you fitted the people with locator-and-ID chips and the city with cameras.

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