|It's recipe time again! Now, I've said before that I mostly prefer stovetop cooking to baking, because it's more experimental, less downtime, and generally has less washing-up. So when I started making a cake from a several_bees recipe, I automatically started adjusting things, just as I would with a stovetop recipe of similar complexity. And, just as where with a stovetop recipe I would time things so as to reuse pans and save on washing-up, for this cake I decided to do similar reusing of utensils.|
Lazy man single-pan orange-and-chocolate cake that is vegan except if your vegan objects to honey in which case use something else, it's easy you fool
Start with a small stainless steel saucepan that has a metal handle. Put a few knifefuls of margarine in (about 125g), and melt it a bit to make the next bit easy. Add eight teaspoons of horrible white sugar, and four teaspoons of delicious honey from the local Beesman, and stir it together.
Add a teaspoon of egg-substitute powder (I don't believe this actually makes much difference), a half-teaspoon of baking powder, and stir in.
Add a quarter-cup of soy milk, and stir in again.
Add three quarters of a cup of strong bread flour. That's right, I said strong bread flour. The recipe said a mix of self-raising and plain, which is nothing like strong, but strong is what I had so strong is what you'll use, if you know what's good for you. And another half-teaspoon of baking powder. And since it wasn't self-raising flour, add *another* half-teaspoon of baking powder too. And don't bother with the recipe's salt, that's only there for the yeast anyway, and there isn't any yeast, pay attention. Mix it up again.
Add a bit more than an eighth of a cup of orange juice, and, if you can be bothered (I couldn't, I don't even own a grater anyway) some orange zest. Add another eighth of a cup of STRONG BREAD FLOUR damn it! Stir it in again.
Skip the melted chocolate from the original recipe because that would need another pan, and instead add, ooh, say, seven highly heaped teaspoons of cocoa, and a splash more soymilk. Stir it up.
Add flour and stir until it's the sort of consistency where if you had two colours of it and tried to marble them together, that would work. If you were following the other recipe you'd actually be marbling them together about now, but this is a one-pan recipe, and it tastes the same whether marbled or all made as one, so THIS WAY IS BETTER.
Put the pan in a 350F / gas mark 5-ish oven (this is why it had to be a metal-handled pan), and leave it in for about 45 minutes. Then take it out, let it cool a bit, and remove cake from pan. Wash the pan now, and also the teaspoon and knife you used earlier. You've probably put the cake on a plate or something so you'll have to wash that too, later, you fool. You should have kept the cake in your hand or mouth to save that effort.
[18:51] [5 comments]
|I have this advertisement for a talk, put through my door. Obviously I don't want to go to it, since that would involve leaving the house and then there would be people, but I do want to know what it would be about. But I don't want to know what it would really be about, because it would be something boring, so what I want is some entertaining imaginative things it would be about.|
So what I'm hoping for is to tap the imaginations of my more amusing readers, and hear tales of what the talk might have been. Entertain me! Here's the content of the leaflet.
|Welcome to our spiritual campaign|
Global Warning - The good news !!! Is there more than what the scientists are telling us? (picture of an intense-looking mustached black man in a white suit)
Speaker: Pastor Maziva Maposa from Zimbabwe.
Date: 9th- 30 September 2006
Saturday and Sunday - 7:00pm
Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday - 7:30pm
Bethel Seventh Day Adventist Church,
Tel: 555 555 555
All errors accurately duplicated, line-wraps mostly in the right places, italic left on just as in the original. Though the original did actually have a picture. So, is there more than what the scientists are telling us? If so, what is it? Tell me! In the style of a Zimbabwe pastor! [13:31] [1 comment]