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Comments on Monday 8 November 2004:
On my way back through town today, the same way that last week contained the bus to MERRY CHRISTMAS, I suddenly realised that insects are scary. Not individual insects, which are mostly pathetic nonentities, but the insect mob. If they all got together on their insect radios and decided to stage an assault all at once we as a race would have no chance.

In the garden and paths of the house I live in, I'm pretty sure there are enough ants to completely cover both residents and the guest, and that's even without the mites and aphids and such joining in. One assumes that most similar-sized gardens are similarly infested with creatures, and thus that every suburb-dweller is doomed by just the contents of their own back yard. I'm assuming here that ants are poisonous enough that being completely covered in them all biting at once would be fatal, which I suppose might not be the case. But they could always just bite again. We have one can of insect spray, which is enough to get rid of maybe ten columns of ants, which is nothing in the big picture.

The cities probably have a better people-to-insects ratio, but once they're done in the suburbs the suburban insect commandos can move in, which would soon even the odds. And there's plenty of chitinous reserves in the rural areas. I'm pretty sure most cars and buildings are insufficiently sealed to protect against determined insects, even after applying your special anti-terrorist duct tape.

The only people who might survive beyond the first 24 hours are those in the icy places and those who are at sea. Until the crustaceans join in.

Chitter chitter. [09:03]

SpasmodicMonk
You are so stupid. Everyone knows that insects use pheremones (probably purchased for half price off the Interweb) and psychic powers to communicate.

Radios indeed.

Kilikina
Why wouldn't fire hold us off longer? Our defeat would probably be inevitable, but it sould hold us off longer than 24 hours and evil little pyros like my sister would have no problem blowing away a whole house full at least(yes we have a tourch gun blower thingy, don't know why). That and to all bugs that don't fly, humans would have the upper hand.

RavenBlack
How are you planning to protect yourself with fire? Setting fire to your house?

Kilikina
If it comes to that. But also torching the little beasties when they swarm. Plus, new though of information; in Ventura, it's a city, but also farmland and all of the farmers use pestisdes, so the bugs that we have are smaller and fewre. That also means that we have a good weapon in plenty of stock.

RavenBlack
But you won't know they're attacking until they're in your house and on you. I assume farmers don't keep large quantities of pesticide in their bedrooms, and setting fire to yourself probably isn't the best cure.

Kilikina
I suppose your right, fire isen't the best cure, but we can use instect repeller, in which case we simply need to spray it on ourselves once a day and poof! They can't stand to go near us! Never give up!

Digi
SPIDERS!

Kilikina
Spiders are arachnids, not insects. The spiders are presumably to good for puny insects. If they came into the picture, we'd all be dead within five hours; in the average house there are over 10,000,000 spiders living in the wallse and I don't know of any spider repellents that actualy work. The only humans that would live would be the cowardly ones that gave themselves up to serve as food slaves, but they too would die eventualy due to the poison. Our only chance would be to stay constantly air born, moving to fast for them to catch us. It all depends on how much warning we get ere the revolution.

Digi
Mm, as an over-four-year-old I'm well aware that spiders are arachnids. I was suggesting them as a *cure* to the insect problem.

Kilikina
Spiders hate humans, why would they help us? Plus we taste better than insects, I'm sure they would love to keep us as pets.

SpasmodicMonk
And you have partaken of both insect and human flesh to discover this, I presume.

Kilikina
None of your concern. Besides, like all things, there are other ways to find that out.

James
10,000,000 spiders in the average house? Where exactly was this gem of statistical magnificence unearthed?

Kilikina
Oh my goodness! I'm terribly sorry, that would be a typo, I'm awful at typing; especialy numbers. It is ten thousand, not ten million. Yes big difference, I'm sorry. Though that is still enough to give a great advantage to either side.
I read this "gem of statistical magnificence" from an eighth grade science textbook in a chapter that took a closer look at the molds, bacteira, bugs and pests that live unoticed in walls, attics, carpets, furniture, basements, foods, ect. of the average household. It was one of those "Did you know..." little facts on the side.

Kilikina
Okay, new solution: 409, the cleaning spray thingy, so many people have it and it will kill ants instanty on contact and does not harm us, plus when you heat it to luke warm, it is even powerful enough to kill killer bees instanty too! Also: nail polish remover, owned by every girl I know,(except for myself).

RavenBlack
But you only have enough to kill a very tiny fraction of the ants that are in even a small garden.

Kilikina
You would have more than you think, it kills on contact! That means that it's very fumes would kill them. I don't know about nail polish remover, but 409 is actualy safe for humans and it would take a serious, serious amount of it to even make us ill. Plus, we move faster than ants

RavenBlack
You're still not getting the quantities of ants involved. I wouldn't have more than I think - I've used insect spray. I've used three cans of insect spray since I've been in Australia, and that's just for very minor ant scouting parties. I've only had one can in the house at a time. So all it would take is about 15-20 small squads of ants to use up all the spray, and once you've run out, then they swarm in in the proper numbers. Moving fast isn't much use when you're surrounded.

Kilikina
(409 is a cleaning tool in the US)I'm not just talking about insect spray. I'm talking about soaps, shampoos, Windex, 409, fantastic, draino-cleaner, rubing alcohol, dishwahing and clothes detergent, Pledge, a hose, Comet, even paints. I know how much ants you are talking about. I am not saying that we wouldn't die, and I'm not saying that we would, but we could sure last a hell of a lot longer than 24 hours.

RavenBlack
Not if you don't have a warning. When you're asleep in bed, you don't have windex, 409, draino, rubbing alcohol etc. at the ready. Even if you're not asleep, if you're at your computer, the ants would be all over you before you even thought about grabbing whatever spray.

Kilikina
In that case, I would rather blow up my computer, than die by their hands in a slow, painful, giving-them-food, sort of a death. I wont need my computer, of my house if I'm going to die any way. What would you do? Would you just let them take you?
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