On TV here tonight is something called The Brain Is The Sexiest Organ. This led me to wonder whether maybe there were people somewhere in the world who have sex with a brain, like American Pie's sex with a pie. Who better to ask than Google?
There are 15 results for "sex with a brain", some of whose truncated text is quite amusing out of context. "This is sex with a brain, which is something all too rare." We can add 4 to this number from the search for "sex with brain". Several of them had the phrase "sex with a brain wave". What does that mean? Anyone?
It doesn't seem likely, with such low numbers, that the brain is the sexiest organ after all. So I tried some others. "Sex with a spleen", at least, is less popular than with a brain, with only one hit. "Sex with a heart scores 46, plus 128 for "sex with heart", so already the brain is not the sexiest organ. Liver loses to the brain, however, with a combined score of 6, and kidney with a mere 2.
The head-mounted organs do much better. Sex with an eye scores 724 and 144 for its two searches, which also offer by far the most amusing of the truncated texts. "Scientists look at sex with an eye for reproduction". Ears aren't so hot with only 3 points. Mouths, on the other head, score 547 plus 260, plus the bonus points for tongue, 520 plus 227. Noses also do surprisingly well, with 52 and 2.
Then we get to the more obvious body parts that are likely to be considered sexy. Breasts and tits score 2960 plus 597 plus 579 plus a gargantuan 86100. Vaginas and pussies score 649 plus 835 plus 582 plus 2950. Ass, arse and butt score 2390 plus 717 plus 43 plus 1040 plus 565. Penis and cock score 2490 plus 1180 plus 3300 plus 1240.
Thus I conclude that the brain is not the sexiest organ, and that, instead, the tit is. The brain is perhaps the sexiest organ after breasts, penises, vaginas, arses, tongues, mouths, eyes, noses and hearts, though. I also conclude that my hits from Google are likely to go up quite a lot as a result of this post.
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