Our TV guide claims it's "Planet of the Apes Night". This because one of the channels has Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes by Tim Burton in the style of Tim Burton wishing he hadn't put his name to such a movie because it ruins the good name of Tim Burton except that actually it's not that good a name in the first place. Followed by the proper, superior 1968 version of Planet of the Apes.
First things first, who decided on "Planet of the Apes Night"? That's rubbish. It should obviously be "Night of the Planet of the Apes". Schticky names for schticky things, please.
And then second things, er, second, that's two out of a possible eight Planet of the Apes movies, none of the Planet of the Apes TV series, and no Planet of the Apes video game. Call that a Night? It's only about five hours including commercials, even if Tim Burton's one does drag on and seem like ten.
So it shouldn't be "Night of the Planet of the Apes" after all, but rather "a Few Hours of Inferior Planet of the Apes". Yes, that's right, I think several of the sequels are better than the original, and all of them and the original are better than Tim Burton's Look At Me I'm Tim Burton And I Spent Lots Of Money Remaking An Old Movie Only Shittier Tim Burton Tim Burton TIM BURTON!
[06:44]
|