|Comments on Monday 26 January 2004:|
|You know how America has "Presidents Day" and "Independence Day" and "Thanksgiving" and "Columbus Day" and so forth? Well Australia has none of these things, because nothing ever happened here, and there hasn't been anybody famous and politically important.|
Hence, here there is only the endearingly pathetic "Australia Day". There's also "ANZAC Day" which is in remembrance of Australian and New Zealander soldiers who have died, for some reason, at some time. There isn't any specific war in mind or anything, because Australia hasn't really been part of a war, it's just sort of generously thrown some soldiers along into someone else's. ANZAC Day is also in remembrance of biscuits.
I'm not suggesting there are insufficient public holidays - just that the excuses for them are cute. I suppose "the Queen's birthday" is vaguely equivalent to Presidents Day, and there is a Labour Day. There's also, here, "Adelaide Cup Day", which is a public holiday for, er, horse racing. Or possibly for a coffee-mug. That's not Australia-wide; Melbourne has Melbourne Cup Day instead, for example.
It's quite surprising, really, that there isn't a generic "America Day", given the number of arbitrary days, weeks and months American presidents declare. But then, those aren't generally holidays, they're just declared so that newspapers with nothing to write about can say "ha ha, it's spaghetti month starting tomorrow" and presidents can feel like they're doing something important.
Particularly notable in the arbitrary proclamations is that Australia Day is superceded in America by both "National Sanctity of Human Life Day" and "Religious Freedom Day" on the same day. You can have whatever religion you like so long as your religion objects to abortions, America. [03:47]
|According to most of the Teen magazines here in the US you have a minor holliday at least twice a month (like ice cream day and best friend day). It's really ridiculous. But they give us bored, unimaginative people something to do on those days. Hmmm.... Groundhog Day is comming up.... what can I do for Groundhog Day.....???|
|See, the thing that most people don't realize is that "Labor Day" and "Presidents' Day" are really just excuses for the fathers of America to char large amounts of mammal flesh on those mass-produced coal pits they like to call 'barbeques.' My father is quite ritualistic about this.|
There is, in fact, a ritual to every America-themed holiday; I will attempt to detail it below.
1. Buy vast quantities of meat at local market, preferably meat or pork. We need to clog our arteries as much as possible.
2. Cart meat home. Attempt to marinade. Eventually coerce wife into doing it for you, who orders daughter to do it, because wife forgot how long ago.
3. Lug meat out to barbeque.
4. Lug back in when you realize that you haven't lit the barbeque yet.
5. Spend 30-45 minutes and several newspapers attempting to light the barbeque. Swear vehemently at barbeque for an extra fifteen, then get daughter to light barbeque and place meat.
6. Poke at meat, looking important, until it is mostly reduced to ash.
7. Force entire family - immediate and extended - to consume meat, in spite of religious or moral beliefs. In fact, the more vegetarians, the better! Gotta whoop them damn kids into shape somehow.
Isn't America lovely?
|[quote]There's also "ANZAC Day" which is in remembrance of Australian and New Zealander soldiers who have died, for some reason, at some time.[/quote]|
ANZAC Day is primarily a commemeration of all Australian Soldiers, yes, but anyone versed in Australian History knows better.
1. Gallipolli, a World War 1 beach landing in which the ANZAC fought a 9 month seige, at horrendous loss. (BTW: pronounced Gall-ip-Olli, not Galli-Polli, as most Americans think)
2. Darwin Bombings; The soldiers and civilians lost during an air raid in WW2.
3. Bali Conflict; We went in and quelled a slaughter by a dictator... much like the Gulf war, but we didn't target schools and hospitals.
[quote]There isn't any specific war in mind or anything, because Australia hasn't really been part of a war[/quote]
^^ - Indeed, we don't feel the need to start wars, for some reason... Perhaps if we ever have 11 000 murders by gun every year, we'll be that violent.
Though it probably wont happen...
Futhermore, Australia Day is the day Australia was founded, not unlike Independance Day.
But, in the end, you are right... we have a relaxed society of people who enjoy slacking off, and we need an excuse to do it. Please, check your facts before you state irrelevant things.
|No need to get your pants twirly, the post was intended as a compliment to Australia and an insult to America. I did check my facts before I stated irrelevant things, that's why I didn't state any of the things you did. They weren't relevant to my point, which is that Australia is awesome (and endearingly pathetic - you can't live here and not see it. "Coming up on channel 10, an American movie THAT HAS AN AUSTRALIAN IN IT!") and America is annoying.|
|mever u mind|
|Australia has had two (2) wars on her soil.|
The very under-reported bombing of Darwin, and the big one, the war against the indigenous people.
I find some comments here disingenuous