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Comments on Monday 27 October 2003:
Nobody wins the ten points. The reason ghosts eat "coco popth" for breakfast is because... it's a thereal. Yes, I realise this is a very very horrible pun and a worse joke, but have you seen the other jokes about what ghosts eat for breakfast?

On a possibly related note, I've had a very enjoyable fever for the last couple of days. A fairly minor all-over aching, dehydration regardless of liquid intake, and feeling cold regardless of my actually being ridiculously hot. Most enjoyable, though, was that even though it didn't hurt much or anything, it made doing stuff very difficult. Everything weighing too much, including, for example, my fingertips. As a result, I watched a lot of Batman: The Animated Series. Foolish amounts of sleep have largely dissipated the illness.

Easy-open cans. Bloody annoying cans, more like. I have never before cut myself opening a can, nor splattered any can-contents further than 'down the side of the can and onto the counter'. Now, through the power of the easy-open can, I can slice a nice gouge into the side of my finger and fling can-contents in a line from the top to the bottom of my shirt, using only about twice as much effort as I'd have used to open the can with a can-opener. Quick, introduce this technology to everything! I want 'easy open' doors, where instead of turning the handle and pushing or pulling the door (depending what side of it I'm on), there's a little ringpull on the floor right next to the door, with razorblades on its inner edges, that I have to pull hard enough to cut through to the bone, which then has a fifty percent random factor whereby it either breaks off leaving the door still closed or the door springs open towards me, hitting me in the head and crushing my recently-sliced finger beneath it. I want an 'easy-open' laptop-display, where instead of pushing a button in and raising the screen, I have to jam a screwdriver into the power outlet and bash my eyeball into the side of the laptop repeatedly. It's ergonomically terrific. [23:50]

SpasmodicMonk
Yes, almost as annoying as TVs that are no longer usable once you lose the remote control for them.

We're running out of elephants.

Tom
Using a fork in the ring pull works for me.

sum nemo
Ouch... those cans are just wrong. So very, very wrong. I almost ended up getting stiches becauase of one of them. Blood and whatever the hell was in the can- delicious, no?

jeanette
Sorry to laugh at your misery, but your description was hilarious!
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