|Comments on Tuesday 13 August 2002:|
|Following on from the research I had to do to complete tax forms nearly three years out of date, I decided to poke around and see what sort of things are deductible, and to what degrees. Actually, I started out reading about tax scams, which led to some examples of the results of fraud tax preparation. From there I went on to tax avoidance schemes, which again provided me with information different from the intended. In attempting to confirm what seems to be the case about hiring tax preparers I found lengthy publications about deductions you can genuinely claim, and there are a lot of them, even if you're not self-employed. Perhaps I shall be a tax professional - I've had plenty of experience of the forms, now, with all this arguing.
|Ah, tsk, I don't think tax-preparers are as deductible as I had been led to believe. Bang goes that idea. Still, with my new knowledge of deductibles, I should be able to avenge myself on the whiny IRS. If they'd left us alone, we'd have continued to pay high "normal deductible" taxes, but they must be hurt for their perpetual complaining. A kicking right in the wallet shall ensue.|
|I would kick them in the balls myself. Wearing a set of Spanish heels. With spikes. The wallet area of these people would seem to be padded in such a way as to minimise pain for them, while leading you towards an audit involving the iron maiden in some way. And ironmaiden.com keeps telling me HTTP/1.1 New Application Failed which sounds pretty scary to me and probably involves sharp pointy bits. Personally I'd be inclined to show up at the IRS with a large sword (are large swords legal in the US? They seem to be legal here. If you're over 16 that is. I keep forgetting to buy a large sword. Haven't found a bit of Australian legislation to stop you wandering around with a large sword on your hip. You can't do this with a gun, but swords are much cooler anyway.) and make insulting comments about gerbils. I have no idea if this would get you a better tax deal, but if you take your video camera along I think you'd get some good footage. I'd really love to see that.|
|I'm not sure if this is a Federal or Local Law, but I believe that in order to possess a blade longer than about 40 cm in public, you need some sort of permit or license.|
|What do you do if a mythological beast such as the Hydra or Medusa pops up though? If you don't have a sword and shaving mirror handy on such occasions, you're fish and/or snake food, depending on which version of the mythology you subscribe to. Pleading lack of license is unlikely to help you. Unless you're wearing a hat.|
|Or you're a lawyer. They'd be very frightened! (ah, the insane idea of mixing law with mythology and lore... a friend hates me for this!)|