| RavenBlog |
|
| Comments on Thursday 21 March 2002: |
| Ah yes, and then there's the post-angst high. Assuming (as it was) that the angst is terminated in a positive way. I had quite forgotten about that. Well worth it. These emotions intrigue me, and I would like to subscribe to their newsletter. Which brings me to a rant I've been meaning to rant for a while. Luck. People have called me a lucky bastard, because of things I have in my life. I would like to dispel this 'luck' myth. Everything I have that people attribute to luck, I have through some effort or risk on my part. Notably, my wife, who is one of the points of contention - yes, she is very good. Was I lucky to meet her? No. I met her through the channels I choose to live in, through my powers of observation and through my choice of friends. And meeting the friend in question wasn't a matter of luck either, for similar reasons. Am I lucky to have her? No. My choice of lifestyle, my willingness to drop my entire life to move transcontinentally, my choice of world view, these are the things that bring me to this situation. None of these things are luck. How many people would leave almost every part of their life, throw out most of their belongings, end a perfectly good relationship, and hop a plane to be with someone else? Luck. You make your own. [18:10] |
| Alex |
| The last two sentences really make me want to club you like a baby seal. :P Whether you are right or not, is of no real concern to me at the moment. Feeling cranky at your smugness, however, is my concern. |
| Digi |
| Which sentances do you consider the last two? "Luck. You make your own. "? Thats fairly inoffensive, and its an old saying as well. Or... "None of these things are luck. How many people would leave almost every part of their life, throw out most of their belongings, end a perfectly good relationship, and hop a plane to be with someone else?"? The second could be seen as smug (I see it as pleasingly arogant), but the first, I can't really see how you would think of that as smug. |
| wyndenai |
| i almost did. you have just enough more guts than i, dear sir. not that i'm moping over it; i'm at least as happy in the situation I'm in now. Though there would have been some situations (mmm.. my kingdom for mouseover text here) i'd not have been forced to experience had I done so. I would have had other joys and problems, certainly. but yes.. um... i had a point somewhere... |
| Nalixor |
| Luck? There is no such thing. RavenBlack has worked hard for what he has achieved in his life from what I can gather. People just say 'you are a lucky bastard' and so forth to feel better about their own inadequacies and failings. Its merely a avenue of expressing the jealousy they feel because you have a better life than they do. :D Thats just my two cents. |
| RavenBlack |
| Ooh, that's even meaner than my phrasing. The way I said it, it could be taken as advice. I applaud your superior nastiness, Nalixor. |
| Kevan |
| Feh, everything stems from the quantum foam to some extent. I can trace entire relationships back to tiny, tiny random decisions - right places at unknowingly right times, buying a particular CD single over another, and whatever else. It's thoroughly absurd and, indeed, seal-clubbingly arrogant to claim any such root coincidences as intentional and worthy of respect, to deny the role of any random chance in your carefully-planned, omniscient life. But yes, far more reasonable to respect (or envy) someone for their bravery and foresight in following up coincidences, than to applaud or sneer purely for the coincidences happening to them in the first place. As for the only "possible exception of physical form", I'd also venture the chance of your being born in a decent enough part of a developed country, and of not having anything life-cripplingly disasterous jump out of the blue at you. Or have victims of circumstance made their own stupid luck, the idiots? |
| Yset |
| Hmmmm ... it could be seen as being ever so slightly insulting, to determine a relationship as 'luck' ... sort of implies that the persons involved don't have minds and desires of their own. Which is, usually, not the case ... I, too, have been almost at the point of doing the same thing myself ... but held back through too much tenderheartedness (and was probably further down the line in my relationship/situation over here to do so without too much fallout ... hmm being marrried is pretty much further down the line isn't it? ho hum ...). And so I utterly applaud your viewpoint and don't see it as smug, whatsoever. Fortune favours the brave, and all that ... |
| Digi |
| The people that call RavenBlack lucky, and possibly RavenBlack himself, would probably call comeone who is born with severe disabilities (wheelchairs for life, half a brain, uncontrolably flapping limbs etc.) unlucky. They are disabled, they do not have abilities that a 'default settings' human has. Again, someone born born with superior abilities to a 'normal' person (advanced eyesight, loads of inheritance money, shooty spider webs from the rist etc.) would probably classed as lucky. Well some people don't have the ability to work hard, there born lazy. Thats an ability they don't have, they are disabled. How unlucky. RavenBlack does have that ability (the one that lets you work hard, or at least know what work), and so he is abled, maybe he even falls into the catagory of being super-abled. Worked hard to be lucky? Lucky he worked hard? (I personally don't think hard work or luck has anything to do with it) |
| Helen |
| The thing is, I've never thought of any of it as luck ~except~ your physical form! That part is very lucky - how many people can actually look like a Neil Gaiman character w/out even trying)... |
| RavenBlack |
| Today I was reminded of a cliche which summarises what I meant rather nicely; "Fortune favours the bold". |
| Kevan |
| Hmm, I was reminded of it when Yset said it a few paragraphs ago. Insulting? I only attribute the tiny, unpredictable starts of things to luck. If you prefer 'fate', I'd say that killed minds and desires even further. |
| Alex |
| "Fortune favours the bold". To which i could answer, "Look before you leap." I thought of several cliches that we could bandy back and forth, actually. The reality is that life is a mix. Mix in some wisdom, luck, effort, intelligence, and more chance (luck), and you have the stuff that reality is made of. The thing is, humans cling to predictability. They like to think they can be "in control." Many people wave God around as a reason they have so many good things. The objectivist-libertarian sorts say that hard work and brains are all that are necessary, and say that anyone who doesn't have everything they want or need are obviously lazy, stupid, or otherwise unworthy. Look at all the saints, the great writers and painters, etc. who died broke, alone, and/or penniless. It happens. Shit happens. Life happens. And sometimes you can't dodge the bullets, no matter how smart, or clever, or hard-working you are. As someone remarked, jealousy has something to do with it. True, of course. I *am* jealous. I admit it. I am happy for you, and i am jealous. Does that mean i suck? Hell no. Not unless i'm about to remove your brains with a very small straw. |
| Tom |
| "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush - especially with a salted tail and a side order of chips, cigars and brandy to follow". It is always important to remember that the reality is that life's a piece of shit, when you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true (mildly wondering if Spike still thinks this after recent events). (N.B. This is appropriation, not plagiarism. I promise. That makes it postmodern). Aha. I just remembered the proverb that originally inspired me to say something here: "Faint heart never won fair lady". Which means that all's fair in love and war, and kippers make very poor defensive weapons, and good luck to the Black Raven, and it's always best to declare love on every possible occasion, because they don't come around as often as you might like. Aha. All you need is love. ;-) I should go to bed now. |
| RavenBlack |
| I don't think "look before you leap" is any sort of contradiction to "fortune favours the bold". It's not "fortune favours the person who does things without considering the consequences at all". |
| Eperdu |
| Raven - see, 'fortune'. I am the best. |
| Yset |
| We were talking about this t'other day, in work, and came to the conclusion that the only input that Luck has in things is to provide another fork in the road to wander down. It's a starting-point; a little switch to give you the option of making a change if that's what you want. The rest is up to the wanderer. And some make the choice to be brave and change their path, and some do not. Right decisions, wrong decisions. Who can tell? Better to go with instinct and make that choice to veer off, rather than look back with regret years later, sitting there counting the grey hairs and nostalgically bemoaning what might have been, if only ... If something's worth regretting not having done then it was worth doing. Oh for the gift of predicted hindsight. Mind you, no matter what path you take, what choice in the innumerable array of choices made every day, there's still 'what if ...'. Hmmmm. I'm defeating my point here somewhat. Best not go there. Too much nostalgia and self-analysis and you end up a mad ol' woman* in a ramshackle cottage somewhere muttering to no-one in particular and sharing your life with 27 cats. *or man. I s'pose. |
| Goinstadi |
| The phrase "lucky bastard" is used in lue of another word. English (at least American english as far as I've studied it, being a native) doesn't have a word that fits when you're trying to tie in the fact that you're not quite at the same level that someone else is but you want to be there so you compliment them, all at the same time. "Lucky" seems to fit as the best word for all of that. |
| Nightshade |
| Woohoo! I got an honorable mention! Yay! Being the victim of similar luck-blame for my own fortune in life, I have to agree with Black. Not necessarily on the details, but on the annoyance of having people refer to me as "lucky". Whether or not luck had anything to do with it, people identify my decent looks/good income/wonderful spouse with good luck. But the same people do not call me "unlucky" for the very bad health which has put me in intensive care (more than once), the many chances I had to forgoe while I studied hard in University, or the insanely irritating spousal habits I put up with happily where othes would grumble and bitch (not that I don't bitch from time to time). The fact is, if someone puts a good face on things and emphasises the positive things in their life, and works towards bettering themselves, others tend to see more of the "good luck" in those lives, and write off whatever "bad luck" there might be as if it simply wasn't there. Very annoying. |