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Comments on Tuesday 5 February 2002:
I didn't think it was possible, but I just saw an ad for Hooked on Phonics that was even worse than the previous ads. It goes something like this:
What inspired me to get Hooked on Phonics was that my son couldn't read. When he finally got it, we just said "Austin! Austin! You did it! You're a reader! You did it!"
And then he said "Yeah, mom, and you're a breeder. You see what I did there? Humour based on phonetics. Aha, ahaha!". And then I killed him.

Seriously, though, what a bloody awful thing to say to a kid. "You're a reader"? What the hell does that mean? I'm sure a kid who's just read something knows that they are capable of reading. Does that define them? Is that all they are now? "You are no longer a player, now you can only read, muahaha. Enjoy your stay in Readertown. FOREVER!"

Not to suggest that reading is bad, of course. I read a lot. I'm not, however, a reader. [13:46]

Tabbie
I imagined some sort of deep pshychological scar on the child. When he goes into the next grade and tries to pick up a pencil, he finds he can't. Psychosymatically unable to write because he's a "reader," a poor drone/lemming assigned to that one task until death.... It made me laugh....

Stefano
Calling a kid "a reader" evokes the magic of the Fifties - or at least it's supposed to do. When I think of ads with happy people which are almost edificant, I'd give anything to have a shotgun.

Tyrethali
I'm a breather. And proud of the fact! It's a status many people have died trying to achieve.

bv728
Je suis un respirateur. Et un Dormé.

Eperdu
That reminds me of a well known Bill Hicks routine, apparently an account of a real incident.

He was sitting in a waffle house somewhere while on the road, dining and reading a book. A waitress came over with his bill and said "Whatcha doing?"
"Oh.. just reading my book." he replied.
"Oh. Whatcha doing that for?"

And then the mood in the waffle house changed, with other diners there peering at him curiously. He imagined that any moment, some big biker type would swagger over and say "Looks like we got ourselves a READER here, folks..."
"Look, I don't want any trouble..."
"Oh, the READER don't want no trouble!"

It's been years since I've seen that routine, so I've probably embellished that a bit. But still.

Kevan
Aha. Mr Hicks's Texan accent was the voice I just read the original posting in. MP3s of him are all over Audiogalaxy and everything, you know.

Eperdu
Oh, I know. I've downloaded a couple of his albums from there. But I've not gotten around to getting htat specific one yet.

Alex
If there's a Reader classification, i'd certainly take it over Breeder.

And hey, i wouldn't mind it as a job description, either.

Jora
Some people are readers, some people are breeders, some people are breathers... Well I'm a bleeder!
Actually, no I'm not... my blood clots faster than Jerry Falwell would jump on a six-year-old boy, given the oppertunity. o_O
But bleeder sounds better than "really-fast-blood-clotter," AND it rhymes. o_O;;
And in case anyone was wondering, yes this comment *was* pointless.

Shamu
continuing the pointlessness of it all, I am a dreamer...or wait...maybe that's reamer.
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