I think you'll agree with me --

having more cash makes the holidays merrier.

And the enclosed credit card access checks are like a huge gift box brimming with

...CASH...

...Holiday Cash for you to use however you see fit.*

(I cut a boring bit here)

You've got the kind of spending power that's bound to make the happiest of holidays for those who mean so much to you.

So fuck up your finances for the next few years, now!