| RavenBlog |
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| Comments on Saturday 24 May 2003: |
| A combined movie-review, now, of more Saturday-9pm-Sci-Fi. This is a genre of its own, recently, featuring such stellar titles as Deathlands and Futuresport. Despite being on at 7pm on a Sunday, Virtual Nightmare is also clearly a Saturday-9pm-Sci-Fi.
Deathlands is clearly first in the series, and is the most archetypical of what I expect of a Saturday-9pm-Sci-Fi; it, along with Interceptor Force and Interceptor Force 2 really defines Saturday-9pm-Sci-Fi. Deathlands, whose name almost functions as a review in itself, is now being used as a descriptor for bad sci-fi, since it's shorter than "Saturday 9pm Sci-fi". Made-for-TV sci-fi gets described as "like a cross between Deathlands and (whatever movie the plot rips off)". Futuresport, for example, was expected to be "like a cross between Deathlands and Running Man". Alas, we were disappointed - instead it was like a cross between Dragon Fighter and Rollerball. I had recorded it, expecting it to be a horrible horrible keeper, like Deathlands, but as soon as it ended I erased it. There's nothing worse than a Saturday-9pm-Sci-Fi that lacks the proper low-budget effects. Futuresport can be summed up by its ending - he learns to cooperate and so the game is won and everyone is happy, even the baddie team. Virtual Nightmare also disappointed in its made-for-TV-ness, being far too high quality to fully entertain. It was redeemed, however, by actually being fairly good. It was like The Matrix II: Elves Gone Wild only without Ted Theodore Logan and with other zombies that were rotting like zombies should. Oh, and not in slow motion. And with the plot revelations being directed towards people who have an attention span, rather than people who can't even concentrate for the duration of a stick-figure-death-theatre. (Incidentally, Joe Zombie does Matrix effects better than The Matrix II: When Stop-Motion Animation Goes Bad.) I'm not sure if I was clear back there that Interceptor Force and Interceptor Force 2 were masterpieces of Deathlands-esque brilliance; Velocity Trap, by the same director, was almost as special. And now, the moment we've all been waiting for - Deathlands! It's got red-eyed mutants! It's got closeups of leather boots! It stars a guy who resembles David Hasselhoff - with an eyepatch! It's post-apocalyptic! It's got really bad music, really bad dialogue, and really bad acting! Truly, it is the epitome of what we expect from a Deathlands movie. I was surprised to discover that Mr Eyepatch wasn't previously a porn star. Even more suprised that the director's previous works were not primarily composed of porn. The movie positively reeks of an attempt to escape from filming pornography. Finally, my hunt succeeded, as the third member of credited cast was revealed to have an extensively pornographic history, with over 50 parts in 1985 alone. It also has, impressively, an actor named "Park Bench" and one named "Max Danger", who are revealed in the fantastic experimental-style end-credits. Speaking of experimental, there is a lot of it in the movie, and none of it is good. Gunfights dropped into silence, most of the movie filmed in dark red (though that might have just been an accident), and a few other odd audio-visual combinations. It also has some horrible extended sex scenes, though not as bad as the one in The Matrix II: Neo Sex0rs Himself All Day Long, which is possibly what led me to expect responsibility of a porn-director. All in all, I recommend everyone watch Deathlands with a sarcastic friend or two, as it's grand old MST3K material. Futuresport, unfortunately, can only be MST3K'd with lots of references to homoeroticism. Interceptor Force and its cleverly named sequel Interceptor Force 2 don't even need MST3King to be amusing in that special way. Virtual Nightmare lent itself terribly to MST3King, alas, though it somewhat made up for it by being moderately entertaining in its own right, despite being a story that's been done by about 600 sci-fi writers in the mid-to-late eighties. [23:57] |
| Tom |
| For many days I have felt bad about this entry not having a comment and so being lonely. I will feel better now and sleep less accidentally. |
| tiger |
| This person does not understand deathlands. It follows a book written called "homeward Bound" by James Axler. Another show to check out is "neon City" for a closer reference to a deathlands exsisting world. For a book written movie it was well done in only 18 days of shooting the movie. |
| Aurgh |
| As a longtime fan of the books, I have to say the screenplay was actually very close to the book, tho as with any adaptation, parts were missed, changed, and characters were missing. However, amazing job considering 18 days work. Still, a better book than a movie, and the casting director did well for the main characters, who looked just like I've always imagined. For those of you who disliked the movie, try the original book. Its pulp, but entertaining pulp. |
| jim wilson |
| anyone that thinks this even comes close to the book has no imagination what so ever, the caracters where sadly identified in physical manner as well as personal. to even attempt to film this movie with such a low budget and time frame did a grave injustice to the charater of deathlands by james axler |