RavenBlog
Black:  ravenblack.net | me | games | books | email | wishlist | rss
Blogs:  Angryblog | As Above | MonkyBlog | Nightshade | Journals
Blimey:  SomethingAwful | Advice
Archives: Last 4 Days | June2001 | July2001 | August2001 | September2001 | October2001 | November2001 | December2001 | January2002 | February2002 | March2002 | April2002 | May2002 | June2002 | July2002 | August2002 | September2002 | October2002 | November2002 | December2002 | January2003 | February2003 | March2003 | April2003 | May2003 | June2003 | July2003 | August2003 | September2003 | October2003 | November2003 | December2003 | January2004 | February2004 | March2004 | April2004 | May2004 | June2004 | July2004 | August2004 | September2004 | October2004 | November2004 | December2004 | January2005 | February2005 | March2005 | April2005 | May2005 | June2005 | July2005 | August2005 | September2005 | October2005 | November2005 | January2006 | February2006 | March2006 | April2006 | May2006 | June2006 | July2006 | August2006 | September2006 | October2006 | November2006 | December2006 | January2007 | February2007 | March2007 | April2007 | May2007 | June2007 | July2007 | August2007 | September2007 | October2007 | November2007 | December2007 | January2008 | February2008 | March2008 | April2008 | May2008 | June2008 | July2008 | August2008 | September2008 | October2008 | November2008 | December2008 | January2009 | March2009 | April2009 | May2009 | July2009 | August2009 | September2009 | February2010 | March2010 | June2010 | July2010 | August2010 | September2010 | October2010 | November2010 | December2010 | February2011 | March2011 | April2011 | May2011 | June2011 | July2011 | August2011 | September2011 | October2011 | December2011 | March2012 | April2012 | May2012 | September2012 | December2012 | March2013 | April2013 | May2013 | June2013


Archive November 2006
Tuesday 21 November 2006
Spam subject line: People judge your dick size by your shoes size.

The spam then went on to try to sell me some sort of penis-enlarging product. Why would I want one of those? Clown shoes are evidently the superior solution.

The spam immediately after that suggested "score with nanotechnology". My shoes aren't that small, Mr Spam. [17:23] [6 comments]


Sunday 19 November 2006
A Perl of wisdom:

$entire_english_language=~s/(?:literally|basically|technically|honestly|essentially)//si; [20:22] [1 comment]


Saturday 18 November 2006
Rargh, stupid bloody advances in graphics hardware. Five years ago, games looked pretty. Now that graphics hardware is good enough for 'realism', games look 'realistic', by which I mean "bland and lacking in contrast and a bit shit really". I know a lot of people thought Oblivion was the prettiest thing ever, and orgasm-inducing, but those people are wrong, it was grey, sometimes with a hint of brown.

Now, a year later, the next generation consoles are coming out, and even the Wii, with its not having bothered to upgrade the graphics hardware so much, has its flagship game The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess looking like the screenshot in that link. Now, I realise the name does say "twilight" right there in it, a fine warning that everything is supposed to look bland and grey and poorly lit, but for fuck's sake, couldn't they have gone with "The Legend Of Zelda: Pretty Goddamn Sparkly Princess" or something? Didn't Link used to wear green, not grey with grey highlights? Thank goodness for the splash of greyish red fading to grey that the plant monster is, or there'd be no colour in the image at all. Yes yes, I concede that the blue sparkle is actually blue, and not grey, but that's no part of the scenery.

By 2009, all games will require $5000 of graphics hardware to render their uniform grey rectangle with sufficient uniformity to satisfy gamers. I'm going to start queueing outside Best Buy right now so as to be the first to get a cutting edge CataraX graphics card. [06:34] [0 comments]


Sunday 5 November 2006
This from my bank. On paper. Through the post.
Dear Mr Black,
Oh, to be a penguin. Nothing to worry about except where your next fish supper is coming from. And certainly not getting in a flap about whether you're paying too much for your home insurance.
Asking Google about "oh, to be a penguin" to see if anyone else was saying it, I found a poem explaining why my bank's home insurance is bad. Penguin. [02:48] [1 comment]