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Comments on Tuesday 7 July 2009:
A couple of days ago we discovered an exciting new crazy food section in the oriental grocery shop, containing such items as veggie mouth breeder fish, veggie grilled eel, veggie mutton, veggie spare ribs, and veggie shrimp (on the list but not actually on the shelf). Most of these were, it turns out, products of a company called Su Wei Siang, whose website tells me there are even crazier vegetarian delicacies such as pulled pork, emu meat, emu fillet and emu paste. All of them seem to be vegan, even. So, we bought several items including the fish, and when we got home I was looking forward to trying the fake fish, but then we discovered there were no cooking directions on the package, and I have no idea how to cook a real fish let alone a fake one. So I asked the internet, which had only three mentions of the product at all, and no instructions there either. So I emailed the company, which replied commendably politely and swiftly; I will quote it here so that anyone else in the same position can learn to cook their fish from Google without bothering the nice foodnical support people.
Dear Raven,

Thank you for your continued interest in SWS Vegetarian Products.

Depending on your available cooking supplies and taste preference there are many delicious ways to prepare the veggie fish.

For example:

If you prefer an all natural flavor, use a boiling pot
  • Use running water to quickly rinse the outside packaging
  • Since the packaging is specially designed to be steamed or boiled directly without removing the content, simply place the entire package into a pot of boiling water
  • Cook for approximately 5 minutes
  • Carefully remove the item from the pot
  • Use a kitchen knife or kitchen scissors to open the packaging
  • Remove the veggie fish and place on cutting board
  • Cut to desired proportions

If you prefer a stronger flavor, use a frying pan
  • Allow at least two hours (or more) for product to fully defrost
  • Use a kitchen knife or kitchen scissors to open the packaging
  • Remove the veggie fish and place on cutting board
  • Cut to desired proportions
  • Add cooking oil (your preference of oil) to hot frying pan
  • Cook one side until lightly brown (approximately 2 minutes) and flip to other side

You may choose to eat the veggie fish by itself to enjoy its natural flavor or add seasoning/sauces and other mix vegetables to enhance the overall dish. Please also refer to our website for some sample recipes (in Chinese only; English versions will be available soon) for your consideration.

Again, thank you for your purchase and we look forward to hearing from you soon!

Thank you for your interest in SWS.

Sincerely,

SWS Customer Service Team
[19:17]

4ndyman
"You may choose to eat the veggie fish by itself to enjoy its natural flavor..." Excuse me? How can something as unnatural as animal flesh made from non-animal-flesh have a "natural flavor." Isn't that a bit like the all-natural taste of snortberries?

RavenBlack
Animal flesh made from nothing but a carrot would have a natural flavor. It wouldn't resemble animal flesh very much, but nor did the fake fish.
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