A couple of days ago I discovered that I really want to move to Hawaii, for various reasons. Then I discovered that I pretty much could do it, almost right now, on the terms which I would prefer and most people would hate. I was quite excited and enthused, had already started in motion, was planning a test-visit for a month starting in a mere couple of weeks. I felt alive for the first time in a long while.
Then I discovered that a "permanent residency" card is not actually permanent, it expires if you're out of the country for two years, which means I would not be allowed to live in the US after all. There is no acceptable way to change this fact (other than if I somehow acquire $500000, or some fantastic love-luck is involved). Fuck you, government, fuck your immigration stupidness. I'm obviously not coming round there stealing your jawbs, I fucking left before, when I was legal, having paid several thousands of dollars in tax without ever "taking your jawbs". If I wanted in for that reason I'd have stayed last time. What's the justification for not letting me (or anyone else who has previously had a permanent-resident visa) return? It makes no sense.
I miss it, and I've not even been there yet. It's what I was missing before I even knew. I will find a way.