|Apparently, according to a billboard, "every 49 seconds, someone applies for a Virgin credit card."|
That must get really annoying. "Oh for god's sake, fuck off, we told you seven hundred and thirty four times yesterday NO!" Do they hang up between askings, or do they just stay on the line all day, "can I have a credit card?" "No." "(40 second pause) How about now?"
In similar things that I don't expect most people to find amusing, the other day I was walking on the beach and I saw this guy with a huge round orange head. "What's up with the huge round orange head?" I asked him. "Oh, it's a long story," he said, "but I'll tell you. You see, a couple of years ago I was walking on this very beach and I found a strange glass bottle. I was rubbing the dust off it and a genie popped out and granted me three wishes. Straight away I wished to be independently wealthy, and next time I checked my bank balance I found I had plenty of money. I bought a nice big house and for a time I was happy as anything, but after a while I got lonely, so I wished for the love of my life. Minutes later, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen walked up, and we've been together ever since, it's been fantastic. But then, a couple of years later - and this is where I think I made my mistake - I wished I had a huge round orange head."