|It's that time again; Recipe Time.|
For today's recipe, I present RavenBlack's Semen-resembling Soup.
Unlike most of my recipes, this one actually has proper specified ingredients: five medium-large potatoes or equivalent in different-sized potatoes, one large or three small onions (do not use medium sized onions), the amount of spring onions that you get from the supermarket bound together with a rubber band, one normal-sized stick of celery or twenty abnormal sized sticks, four spoons of powdered vegetable stock or equivalent in some other stock such as TCPD, half a spoon of crushed garlic, a sprinkle of each of basil, salt and pepper, three drops of a nice hot-sauce, some water, and the use of a blender.
Chop up all the ingredients except the 'use of a blender' which we'll chop up later, and the ingredients that are already very small like the salt. Oh, and don't chop up the water, it'll just flow back together like a second-generation Terminator. Put the ingredients in a pan, except the 'use of a blender' which we'll add later. The amount of water to add is "enough to not quite cover everything else". Bring it to the boil as quickly as you can - be impatient if you can - and then simmer it very quickly for half an hour or so. Apply the blender to the mix, either by pouring the mix into the blender if it's a female blender, or by sticking the blender into the soup if it's male. Also switch it on. When the soup resembles semen, it's ready and delicious. Eat from a bowl, with toast and your mouth.
(Also, if you have a PGP key, please sign mine and upload it to the pgpkeys.mit.edu server.)