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Comments on Wednesday 2 June 2004:
It's RavenBlack Recipe Time, with a recipe for Arbitrary Vegetable Tandoori.

Ingredients:
  • Arbitrary vegetables.
  • A fat tin of diced tomato.
  • About half a jar of tandoori paste, or less if the jar is very big.
In the example case, the arbitrary vegetables consist of three small onions, half a large cauliflower, three medium-sized potatoes, half a small bag of peas, a medium-sized lump of broccoli and one red bell pepper which shouldn't have gone in because it wasn't very good.

Chop everything up into pieces of appropriate sizes; inch-cubes for big vegetables, small pieces for onions, and don't chop up the peas, tin or jar. You can chop the lid off the tin if you want, I suppose, and remove the lid from the jar but not by chopping. And when I say "chop everything up", I only mean the ingredients - don't chop up your pans and arms.

Start the recalcitrant vegetables boiling or steaming; recalcitrant vegetables include potato, broccoli and cauliflower. Any vegetables which would tend to be firmer than you want them in a curry, if they were prepared by stir-frying.

While those boil, fry the chopped up onion at a fairly moderate heat. Moderate for frying that is, not moderate for outdoor temperature which wouldn't be any use at all. You can't fry onions at 25 celsius. Maybe at weird pressures. If you can do that, feel free, but it's easier to do it with heat. Throw any vegetables that aren't bothering to be boiled in here as well, such as the bell peppers that you shouldn't be putting in because they aren't very good. And the peas can go in now or later, it doesn't really matter, because they're peas.

When the recalcitrant vegetables are about half as boiled as you would do them if you were just going to eat them boiled, lob them across into the frying pan. If you're not a very good shot, lift them across with a tool of some sort instead.

Spoon four tablespoons of tandoori paste in amongst the vegetables in the pan. More if it's mild tandoori paste or if you want the curry properly spicy. What the hell, just tip the entire jar of tandoori paste in, and add some hot sauce as well, and some chilli powder. Pour the tin of tomatoes into the pan. Or, for non-robots, just pour the tomatoes out of the tin, into the pan, and then put the tin somewhere else such as a bin or recycling receptacle.

Simmer until you're really hungry, stirring whenever you feel a bit hungry but not quite so hungry that it's ready. Also, each time you stir it, taste a bit, decide it's really nice, and wish it didn't require quite so much damn simmering.

Eat while you watch a dodgy subtitled kung-fu movie or, if you have one, a crazy hindi movie with singing and dancing. [06:57]

Nameless
Monsoon Wedding! Mmm, Indian food... my mom dumps in about half a bottle of hot sauce, which would mean very little if she wasn't my mother, because we're in Texas and despite rumors everything here tastes a bit like plywood, unless you're actually Mexican or my mother. She still orders her hot sauce in from California, where it's take-the-roof-of-your-mouth-off hot.

I have a sudden craving to watch Indians dance with all the strange little hand movements...

RavenBlack
Also add some vegetable stock. It makes it nicer. And some textured vegetable protein is good.

If you must err in the preboiling stage, err on the side of overcooked - squishy curry is nicer than crunchy curry.
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