|Comments on Saturday 27 April 2002:|
|I spent almost an entire day getting a Windows box back up to standard. This was annoying. And so I finally got around to doing something I've been meaning to do for ages - a mechanism for making Windows Update not require the use of my paltry internet bandwidth for things I've downloaded before.|
What you need for this hobby:
One firewall which also runs Apache.
One bored and angry programmer.
A flask of weak lemon drink.
First, drink your weak lemon drink. That's it. The rest is not worth it. Really.
Oh, alright. So then you set up Apache to rewrite any URL received on a certain internal IP from /directories/file.xxx to /cache.cgi?directories/file.xxx.
Then you make said cache.cgi a script which sends back a file, if one exists, or goes to the original host and original path, and downloads that, simultaneously writing it to the file and streaming it to the client.
Finally, you make (or add to) a \windows\hosts file on the machine that's going to be updating, lines which override various download servers and make them use the internal IP I mentioned earlier.
Ta-da, you now have a permanently caching sort-of-transparent proxy for those domains you overrode. Much easier than installing a piece-of-junk caching proxy such as squid.
Now drink the rest of that weak lemon drink. I saw you trying to get away with only drinking half. How can you do any hobbies if you won't drink your drink? [19:10]
|Why does this sound like one of those humilating Japanese game shows? And does beer count as weak lemon drink? If you stick some lemon in a Corona, for example? Rather well done actually. Though apt-get install squid is probably easier in most cases. ;-)|
|Easier, yes, but then it will forget the stuff I want cached before the next time I use it, and will also spend all its time filling my hard drive caching stuff I never wanted cached in the first place.|
|If you ever want a really excellent lemon drink, take about 1/4 - 1/2 a glass of Ice tea, and poor any sort of lemonade in it to fill up the glass. I think the official name is Arnold Palmer, but I like to to call it the "after taste" drink. It doesn't taste especially good at first (at least to me, I prefer milk), but it leaves the most peculiar and pleasant after taste in your mouth for several minutes. It might be great for a such a hobbie requiring a drink every few minutes. Other things of more potency can be added on top of said drink, but I haven't tried it and cannot speak for it's worth with added alcohol.|
|I've met the guy who did the "weak lemon drink" sketch...quite scary in real life too.|
|It seems people are more interested in the drink than anything. I can't blame them really. How did you not gouge your eyeballs out with something dull and not-so-pointy?|
|It seems that we can talk about anything here as long as we mention something about a weak lemon drink.|
|I think I prefer Quagga milk to weak lemon drink when working with Windows. The rancid flavor distracts me from the pain.|