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Comments on Thursday 4 April 2002:
Graarh! Apparently an FHA mortgage has bloody stupid requirements. Basically, we need to repair things before we can get the mortgage. We can't repair things because we don't yet own the house. The bank that does own the house won't repair things because they don't want to. Amongst the requirements is the rather lovely complaint "Missing ceiling tile in basement". These tiles are purely cosmetic things, pieces of crappy foam stuff. How does one of those being missing make the house uninhabitable? If the basement wasn't finished at all, there'd be no complaint. "Front storm door is broken" - the spring-loaded hinge-thing is off. It's the work of 60 seconds with a screwdriver. Storm doors aren't even necessary - if we went by and smashed the door off entirely, then would it be okay? So, we can't even get permission to repair these stupid things ourselves, we have to have a "licensed contractor" do it. Which presumably translates as "rip-off artist". And if something else goes wrong and prevents the purchase, the repairs will be out of our pockets. Oh yes, and we have to arrange all this within the next six days or so, which involves collaboration between loan people and repair people and realtor people. [16:34]

Eperdu
Over your shoulder there peers the spawn of beauracracy, friend of capitalism.

I call it Chao-tikor! Know its grisly name and quail, foolish would-be home owner.

Nalixor
Ah, yes. I know that song-and-dance well. I have run into the same/similar problem here in Australia with lazy landowners. Real pains in the butt. There were a few minor, mainly cosmetic things wrong with the place, and we could not get a mortgage without fixing them, and the house owners insisted on us getting a repair man in. In the end we basically said "stuff it" we dont need the money that badly anyway.

bv728
My dad is a General Contractor, and depending on exactly what they mean by Liscenced Contrator can prolly get you checkmarcked on the paperwork. E-mail me if you'd like me to speak with him concerning this.

Fox West
You need renovation ninjas. Their approach: Undetectable. They leave only home improvements in their wake. They travel in a cloak of shadows, and big contractor vans. They can get the job done for you.

RavenBlack
Heh. I had briefly considered being Renovation Ninja myself. I'm sure I
could easily break into the house. There's no alarm system and nobody
lives there. Some of the repairs are external, even, I could do them
in broad daylight and nobody would bat an eyelid.

But even that small risk is too much, with the law in America being as
stupid as it is. Probably get life in prison for repairing a house that
you're about to buy.

Digi
Drive by reapirs, dats da way in da hood, bro.

Iglibu (which rhymes with Eperdu)
Eh? Can you believe that a 600 sq. foot apartment, w/ 1 room, 1 bath is approximatly 179,000 USD? yikes. That's worse than...a lot of things. Well, that's why I live in Nagoya, not Tokyo. >.<

Rachel
Apparently houses like mine are not eligible for FHA loans at all. One would think that any idiot could figure out that older houses with actual plaster walls--rather than cheesy wallboard--will naturally get a few purely cosmetic minor wall cracks from settling, which in no way harm structural integrity. From people who have tried to get FHA loans on similar houses, even in the same neighborhood, it seems that no repairs are suggested, just a flat refusal on the basis of "substandard" or "unsafe" housing. FHA are twits.
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